I N F this

In my “hurry-up-and-wait indefinite amount” of administrative leave, I have begun searching for a new career or job. The high school teaching environment in the poor school I worked is just too hard for me, no matter what I believe or think in my heart, the stress is unsurmountable i feel you gotta a) suck at your job or b) don’t care about students. So… let’s search!

First productive step can be to find your personality type. I already did the test on 16personalities.com and I feel like that test is thorough enough and the questions are phrased like a “blind” study that it’s actually pretty good. Only thing I manually changed was from ENFP -> INFP because to be honest I need my alone time so badly.

… “spread too thinly, they’ll run out of energy and even become dejected and overwhelmed by all the bad in the world they can’t fix.”

Story of my life.

“If they are not careful, INFPs can lose themselves in their quest for good and neglect the day-to-day upkeep that life demands.”

Only because capitalism sucks and puts way too much burden on individuals to pay and take care of themselves while underemployed and indebted. I’ve lived alone for the past ~6 years of my life. Living in Korea for 4 years was therapeutic, but coming back to the United States has been devastating. Debt, rent too high, car payment too high, bills = depression.

“INFPs feel most comfortable among colleagues – they aren’t interested in controlling others, and have a similar distaste for being controlled.”

Ask the manager of the last retail job I worked at 7 years go. NO GODS NO MASTERS!

Being a teacher whose duty every waking minute is to tell a group of people what to do, it literally beat me down and tore me up inside. Trying to run a classroom in a hierarchical system, non-hierarchically, is impossible. I feel like a wooden square block trying to fit into a circle hole.

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I have two irreconcilable problems with the students in my high school.

  1. As above, trying to get 100% participation as my administration demands for a class of 20-35 students with a huge range of needs, is impossible and hurts. So, telling students what to do.
  2. The CONSTANT lying and gas-lighting from students drove me crazy.

I know how to Socratically lead a line of questioning for learning to be revealed to students.

I address the students with anti-oppressive language.

I know how to facilitate and balance the participation of a group of students in a discussion setting.

But it doesn’t matter. I give up.

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