Psych out

Doses toss me like an undertow. Every morning and night I always forget wtf pill i took or not.

Thursday was trivia night. Despite our extreme showmynship, we got second to last. Actually an improvement over our dead last a few weeks before.

So 5 beers drank me through that night. A few rillos. Something else. So by about 1 AM it’s winding down NO MY BRAIN IS GOING TO THE COSMOS. Did not sleep minutes all night long.

smoke

My 19 year old job was at FedEx throwing boxes. Getting home from the night shift gave me peaceful solitude every weekday morning at 3:30. I found this to be the best time to ever go grocery shopping, in that comfort of emptiness.

So to get through sleepless-Thursday I sit in my parked car in suburbuaba writing on my phone as fast as possible. I had never felt the urge to write so strongly. The first posts of this PuriNone blog felt like a long lost friend I already knew.

So riding the mania wave, balancing with bowls when it gets out of control or my chest pains too high, I outline and plan books to write and (revolutionary) teaching materials to create.

tenor

No sleeps were had. I actually got to work early (simple check-in for admin leave) at 8:40, and the random “Sit here and wait for someone-thats-not-gonna-come before leaving” meant I missed my 9:30 psychiatrist appointment that would have been the first one in my feeble life.

Pretty sure that since I’m on SNRI + Depakote mood stabilizer my medication is good for now. going to the psychiatrist will probably just confirm that hopefully. So will try again next week.

 

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